Andrea

I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m slamming in and out of a hot chick’s back alley, I don’t half love’em to rattle. And that’s why I always insist that they wear as much dangly, jangly jewellery as possible, just like sexy Andrea here is sporting. There’s just something about that sound of clinking and clanking as your jab in toher from behind, making her rattle louder than Jimmy Saville on a fun run. Seriously, like a life-sized filthy game of Buckaroo, I’ll pile as much of Ratner’s finest on her ‘til she’s totally weighed down, and barely able to move. Necklaces, earrings, bangles –you name it, I’ll hang it off her ‘til it’s like shagging Mr T– well, without the bad attitude and big baldy head! But how can I afford such an expensive fetish, I hear you ask? Well, truth is I can’t. I’m up to my eyeballs in debt, and the bank are close to repossessing my house. To be honest, I really need to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror, and try and get my life sorted…